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Jelly Jam
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Return to thread2019-01-05 23:48
Attention all epic fortnite gamers

jazzjackrabbit.net needs your help to protect our most beloved web site in the entire multiverse from the villainous minds of fake-passport promoters and shoe salesmen, who are totally not advertising their second-hand products because they make a living out of it. In order to keep our security up to date, we've started a movement that'll ensure the safety of our innocent forum posters, and that's where you come in!

If you donate us only 0,∞ thousand million Uruguayan pesos, you can put a stop to all malicious content injection on our favorite platform. If we all pinch in an equal ammount of money, this might just work!


BUT ALAS


Sadly, not everyone is as kind and generous to donate as you are, dear reader, but you can make up for it! If you donate us a little bit more than that, we can do wonders! But in order to determine exactly how much we need from you, we'll need you to quietly borrow your mom's credit card and send us the four irrelevant digits on the back and the three digits on the front of her card. Those numbers will help us do a detaied calculus on exactly how much money we need to end jazzjackrabbit.net's suffering.

The numbers can be sent to us via Google Wave's private messaging service. Oh, what's that? It's currently down? HMM, might as well send it to some of us via jazzjackrabbit.net's private messaging service, particularly to the one who's username starts with "J" and ends with "elly Jam", and no one else.

So please, do yourself a favor and help out a random stranger on the Internet, to ensure jazzjackrabbit.net's Epic Victory Royale. emo